Hey all underSteer freaks. This is the much anticipated (well much anticipated by TEAM K anyway) review of the 2007 season. It's now feeling very 2008 with Ferrari being the first to launch their car this year to usurp the normal team to be first out of the blocks, Toyota, and rally starts in just over 2 weeks, so I thought it was now or never for a review of perhaps the best underSteer year yet, apart from the V8s.... But, come on, we all know the V8s are a joke.... Sure I only saw the first round, but it would have seemed very effin weird to me if Whincup had have won the title... It would have been like TEAM K winning the underSteer V8 title. Instead the deserved winners of V8 were Tander and 99.94. In MotoGP, we had Fine Cotton repeating his debut win, and has laid claim to being the bike specialist, and was also the only punter (I know of) that made it to 2 bike races in the year. He got to Valencia for the last race and his home video of him singing "I am the champion" on an empty Valencia hill was weird at best, and effin freaky at worst. WRC was won by Sennamental Favourite again, and he has laid claim to being the rally specialist, but has said he wants to dedicate his win to Gareth MacHale and Kris Meekes.  more...

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Welcome to Interlagos, São Paulo, Brasil for the title showdown. We have Hamo, Kimi, and Abba battling it out to take the 2007 Formula One World Championship..... aaaannnndddddd.... we have Mumbo, home town favourite... (Sennamental Favourite), The Chrome Arrow, 99.94, and possibly even XXXX gunning for something worth sooooo much more.... the underSteer F1 Title, and bragging rights for the next year. Now let's have a very quick word from each of the title contenders. Firstly, starting at the bottom of the pack, XXXX, so what do you have to say for yourself: "With proper underSteer points (no bonus points), I would be in a prime position to take this title as long as Mumbo choked". Next up is 99.94, "I think you should seriously consider changing the bonus point system to 5 from next year. There's many reasons why this should be done but I'll just state the bleeding obvious - it rewards mediocrity!! It's also un-Australian. Anyway, have a think about it. Honestly I think 10 points is too many, maybe 5... or maybe put it to an underSteer referendum... I will represent the "no" side." Ok, Ok, Don, I asked for a quick word, not an essay on why you hate Chappelli. Now for The Chrome Arrow, "I'm not telling you about my secret weapon, Why the eff did the All Blacks choke AGAIN". Thanks Arrow, next up is the quiet rookie who could, Mumbo, "I got to two GP's in one year and two of the glamour ones... Silverstone and Monaco.... eat your heart out TEAM K". And finally  more...

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So here we are in China for the penultimate round of the 2007 Formula One World Championship. Hamo has a 12 point lead going into this race and Sennamental Favourite has a 16 point lead in the underSteer race. Leading into the weekend there was talk of Lewis possibly being given a penalty for his supposedly erratic driving behind the safety car in Japan. Mark Webber, in a rookie sandwich, came out of it very bad and wasn't shy about telling everyone what he thought, and judging by the fact that his missus was around for the blitz, he isn't a fan of the youth of today. Mark Webber reminds me of Stealth Shiestenberger Racing, they're both potty mouths, they both hate anyone better than them, they both have a fetish for the older set, and they're both regularly at the middle or back of the pack except every now and again when they pull something out of their  more...

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So I arrived in Tokyo on Wednesday afternoon and immediately made my way to Fuji where I settled into my penthouse. On Thursday morning I had arranged to meet Norbert Haug at the base of Mt Fuji for a BMW Challenge so I wanted to get a good night sleep.  more...

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I’m writing this report in a hurry as I’m about to catch a plane to Japan to cover the GP over the weekend. Life’s tough when you’re a high flying sports correspondent. Ron Burgundy will never know about that though.  more...

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After attacking some V8 drivers and a weatherman and insulting a Helmet Designer I have been chased out of the country until things cool down. The husband of the helmet painter's wife was especially mad and you can see some photos at this link, Daryl's new life as a pariah. As I also said in the V8 report some drivers weren't too happy that my helmet had taken on the spirit of Paul Morris. As I left the country Scotty Beveridge gave me a couple of places that I could cool down.  more...

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The Turkish grand prix, the home of the revolving dignitaries or whatever there problem was that year that I think they went through dinitaries like Super Aguri went through drivers last year. On that occasion Massa took the win ahead of Alonso who got ahead of Shuey thanks to Shuey having to wait for Massa to finish his pit stop. Who would it be this year? It would be Massa once again and with the puncture Hamilton suffered it would open up the championship for Alonso slightly.  more...

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I've always declared the day John Howard went on YouTube would be the day Gladious goes on YouTube. Well here it is folks, something from the underSteer archives of 2002...  more...

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I'm typing this report on a lazy Sunday afternoon listening to a bit of Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart whilst getting cryptic text messages from Boss Hogg talking about Senna being Prost's bitch. I don't know what's weirder; that text or Hair Pie: Bake 1. Well so much has happened since my last report and I don't know where to start. Maybe I should begin with Fine Cotton's disasterous year.  more...

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Leading into the British GP Lewis-mania had as a support act the gradually unfolding case of what many people are calling Stepney-gate. How about that two hyphonated words in one sentence. I don't really like calling any scandal something-gate because I think it's lazy journalism and why shouldn't it be called Nigel-gate or maybe even Trudy-gate. Whatever you call it I had Big Willie Mason look over some of the facts to the case.  more...

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So I was at the Supermarket also known as the place Satan goes for ideas, waiting in line for some stoned out cashier to serve me when I noticed the woman in front of me had a strange combination of groceries. Normally I couldn't tell or remember the difference between motor oil and milk but want she had definetly got my attention. She had  more...

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Fancy a Polish sausage anyone because Kubica left a massive one in Montreal. That race was certainly a spectacle if it wasn't exactly a good race, more like playing musical chairs for positions. Amazingly Kubica who looks like Timmy from South Park or maybe even Frakenstein was pretty much fine. Kubica looks like Frankenstein and now walks like Frankenstein and almost put a bolt in his neck like Frankenstein. Yes he is the typical F1 playboy but he didn't get to race in Indy for fear from quacks, I reckon, that he could gain more serious injuries.  more...

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So it was just 9 hours and 48 minutes after I published part one of Ralf's eulogy (under the V8 section) that Toyota released another of their "Unknown Team Members" stories. This one was about data collection. It was the sort of stuff Eyes of the Dragon would have creamed it's jeans over. This is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. But anyway, back to the Ralf Schumacher story... Ralf has won 6 races and scored 6 poles in Formula 1. His first win came at Imola 2001. That year he went on to win at Montreal and Hockenheim. My favourite Ralf stories seem to always involve his wife, Cora, whether it be her deciding to pose nude and Ralf losing all respect from his fellow drivers or when she started racing and gave him driving tips, and of course the big one... how she told the journos that one down-side for Ralf joining Toyota was that the company car they gave him didn't have a "reverse crash beaper" (a gadget that beaps when you are reversing and are close to crashing into something). She went on to explain how he would probably crash into something because he was shite at parking.......... I just know she was itching to add, "and that's not the only thing he's shite at". As of Monaco Ralf is racing around against fellow German Adrian Sutil in a Spyker. If you told me that at the start of the year, I would have laughed and said, "Yeah hopefully, but surely Ralf can't go THAT bad." But, it seems that with Big Brother leaving Formula 1 he must have taken Ralf's talent with him.  more...

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With it being world environment day today I thought we should take take a carbon footprint of underSteer to see how good or bad we are. Taking all factors into consideration like the kilowatts of gas and electricity used from underSteer headquarters to power such things as Eyes of the Dragon, cooking spaghetti for Daryl Beattie, and freezing coke for Daryl Beattie, I have calculated that underSteer's carbon footprint is 9600. This is fairly good considering an average household's carbon footprint is 26300. Some ways which we can reduce underSteer's carbon footprint are:  more...

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As I said last year I had no fear of jinxing the South African team because I'm sure they'll do it themselves. Some argued that South Africa once again choked while others suggested that they went out with a game plan and failed miserably. The game plan involved going down the pitch to Glenn McGrath and only one South African has been able to do that with any real success and he plays for England (even if he broke his ribs doing this). Elsewhere in the tournament Pakistan put up a woeful display, going from ugly to tragic when their coach was murdered. The players were for a brief moment suspected and questioned but they couldn't get motivated for a game of cricket all tournament let alone carry out a hit. Wicketkeeper Kamran Ahkmal was in the room next door and said he didn't hear anything which surely puts doubt over future appeals for caught behind.  more...

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While Daryl Beattie had to stay at the backpackers for his stay in Melbourne for the GP, I was on a luxurious yacht interviewing the boss of the FIA, Max Mosley. Here is the interview.

GF: Hello Max Mosley, it’s a pleasure to talk to you, I’m a huge fan.

MM: Thank you.  more...

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We arrive in Malaysia after a three week break with all teams having done a lot of work to move their machine up the grid. For most this meant a lot of work back in the wind tunnel and the factory and a bit of testing at Sepang, but one team took a different tack. Spyker, perhaps taking a leaf out of their engine suppliers book, decided to concentrate on researching as much as they could into the Super Aguri and the Toro Rosso... or perhaps I'm being cynical, maybe they were confident of their pace and didn't want to give anything away.... yeah and Pakistani cricket is all above board. The testing in Sepang had some interesting results with a different driver setting the fastest lap for each test day. They were Kubica, then Räikkönen, then Hamilton, then fellow debutant Kovalainen. But in reality, testing showed that Ferrari were still at the top of the pack. After testing, there seemed to be some talk that Kimi was going to change eninge before the race, so would be penalised 10 grid positions. Judging by everyone's picks, there are only 3 punters that believed this, or, are keeping totally up-to-date with all F1 news. Either way I think they should be named and shamed, so they are: 99.94, Fine Cotton, and Wham!. But even without Räikkönen in their qualifying picks, neither punter was far off pole sitter, Sennamental Favourite, who is making his strongest start to a season yet, with a first up win and pole here.  more...

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Ohhh this is a biggie! Unfortunately poleman Mumbo didn't come 5th which would have really helped with the title of the article. Instead the team faded back to 17th while the team with the biggest ego that I know of, Sennamental Favourite, came and took the win from the team that was second placed all week-end but was obviously inspired Kimi Raikkonen, To the Finnish. Defending champion Fine Cotton got his defense off to a solid start finishing on the podium in third. Of the three punters that qualified equally third Gert was just behind in 4th with 99.94 and Mcwillari 7th and 12th respectively. Last year's runner up's drinking buddy/Mr.Hyde Jailgrog came 22nd.  more...

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Mumbo has pipped To the Finnish for pole position in qualifying. 99.94 has kept close to bitter rival Gert while Mcwillari is also in third place. If you compare the top 5 from F1 to underSteer there is just as much quality in both. It was good to see Webber do so well in his home GP. One that he always does well at until his car breaks down. As I'm down here no doubt that he will be talking about what could have been an hour into the race.  more...

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2002 – EatMyShorts
2003 – Sennamental Favourite
2004 – Dead Sennas
2005 – Mark Holden
2006 – Gibernever
2007 - ??

Welcome all to the blue riband event for underSteer – Formula One. This year will start like no other. Michael Schumacher has retired with his spot at Ferrari taken by Kimi Räikkönen. Two-time world champion Fernando Alonso has taken Kimi's drive at McLaren. In the tyre department Michelin are no more with Bridgestone being the sole tyre provider, and last but not least BMW seem rejuvenated and quick. From a local point of view, Mark Webber has joined Red Bull in what will hopefully be a quick and reliable Adrian Newey designed car. If anybody in this years tipping comp didn’t already know what I just typed I have some advise – give up now. Okay, time to throw some mud.  more...